TeenDramaWhore

Last Week’s Live-Blog

Keep refreshing this page throughout the show for plot developments, quotes and commentary.

EPISODE 3.15: The Sixteen Year Old Virgin

• Previously on: Chuck spent 18 years accepting his mom was daead but she’s back and wants to get to know with him, Chuck doesn’t get along with Uncle Jack, Vanessa doesn’t want to ruin her friendship with Dan, Vanya gives Lily Rufus’ scarf from Holland’s apt, Rufus forbids Jenny from seeing Damian
• The episode’s title is a play on the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin.
• Both titles are grammatically incorrect and it bugs the hell out of me! Anyway…
• Jenny is staying at the loft with Rufus. He’s running a tight ship and she’s hating it.
• She’s going to school and must come home right after.
• She leaves the loft and makes a call, saying she needs a car.
• She lets down her hair and it’s greasy and wavy and just gross.
• Blair is on the phone, saying Chuck had an emergency meeting with his lawyer.
• She’s talking to Elizabeth! Interesting.
• Apparently they’ve had a great week.
• Blair tells Elizabeth that she thinks he has something to ask her and she should come over.
• Chuck walks in and she hangs up.
• He says several female employees of the hotel are suing him for sexual harassment.
• Blair is shocked and says they are “scheming harlots.”
• The lawyer points out two of the women weren’t even in town on the supposed dates.
• Blair says the lawyer can fight it.
• Chuck says a trial would be a PR disaster.
• Q1: Settling is for the guilty. Celebrities who run people over, the Catholic Church.–Blair
• Chuck reiterates that he has to settle.
• Blair concludes this is because he doesn’t want to tell Elizabeth about this and ruin her image of him.
• Q2: What’s the point of having Elizabeth in your life if you’re not going to let her in?–Blair
• Lily comes to the loft. She’s “checking in.”
• Rufus says things are fine but strict with Jenny.
• Lily says she needs to ask him something.
• They are interrupted by a call.
• It’s Headmistress Queller. Jenny didn’t go to school…all week.
• Nate and Serena are sexin’.
• Q3: Who needs coffee after a wake-up like that?–Serena
• Rufus texts Serena. He can’t find Jenny and he thinks she’s with Damian.
• Serena tells Nate how Damian tried to kiss her and they conclude he’s a creep.
• But Serena points out that’s what’s most attractive about a bad boy is being forbidden to see him.
• She says Rufus is running Jenny into Damian’s arms and she vows to not let that happen.
• Dan and Vanessa are hooking up, too.
• But Rufus keeps calling.
• Dan says he doesn’t want to answer because they are keeping their relationship casual…a casual secret.
• Vanessa says he can’t hide from his dad forever.
• So he calls Rufus and we don’t hear him but we are to presume he tells Dan that Jenny is MIA.
• Jenny and Damian are making out, as well!
• But Jenny abruptly stops and says she has to go Latin class.
• Q4: It’s a dead language. It’s not going anywhere.–Damian
• Q5: Don’t you think it’s a little coincidental that the last time we got this spot, the place right underneath your kilt, you had to go dissect a fetal pig?–Damian
• Q6: When I date someone, sex is usually a part of the equation.–Damian
• He asks that she just let him know if she doesn’t want that.
• He also kinda sorta asks if she’s a virgin.
• She brushes it off and says she likes to go slow with new people.
• They make plans for later and he promises to go slow. I don’t think they are on the same page.
• Q7: There’s another day dads fear. The day their Little J decides to lose their Little V.–Gossip Girl
• Blair, Chuck and Elizabeth are walking down the street.
• Elizabeth says she had a lovely time. Wherever they were.
• Chuck says his dad is being honored by some place tonight and Lily will be there and she wants to know if she’ll come, too.
• She says she would love to come, too.
• At that moment, they are ambushed by the press, who are asking questions about the lawsuit.
• Chuck sends Blair and Elizabeth away.
• His phone rings. It’s Jack.
• Q8: Naughty nephew. You won’t believe what I just heard.–Uncle Jack
• Chuck concludes that Jack is behind the lawsuit.
• Jack’s got a kinda thick goatee! Don’t know if I like yet.
• Lily and Rufus are talking about Jenny.
• Q9: I guess I’m still holding out hope that somewhere underneath that mop of blonde hair is my little girl.–Rufus
• Rufus thanks Lily for being there.
• Lily says they should put their past behind them.
• She suggests he join her tonight at the event in honor of Bart.
• Q10: I’m not in the mood to support any of your former husbands right now.–Rufus
• Kind of no-brainer, Lil, no?
• She gets up to leave and puts his scarf down.
• Serena and Jenny are talking.
• S asks J how things are with Damian.
• Jenny says things are great. He listens to her and treats her like an adult.
• S concludes that it’s serious.
• J says it’s about to be. She’s thinking that tonight is, um, the night.
• Q11: Your first time, that’s monumental.–Serena
• S asks if she’s nervous. Jenny says a little. It’s clear she means A LOT.
• Serena says you can never get your virginity back and she wishes she waited for someone who would always support her and stand up for her.
• She references Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. LOL
• Jenny doesn’t know what’s talking about. Um, WHAT?!
• Q12: It’s great. You should download it.–Serena
• Jenny says Damian is a great guy.
• Nate walks in. I guess he overheard?
• Serena says she has to go but Nate can take her for lunch.
• Jack show ups to the hotel.
• Q13: I never realized how many sex puns you can make out Chuck Bass.–Jack
• Chuck says it’s more than coincidence that Jack showed up now.
• Jack says he came back to protect him, because he hear his mom rose from the dead.
• Chuck explains what happened with Elizabeth and Bart.
• Jack tells Chuck he’s being duped. He saw Evelyn’s body in the casket.
• Blair is repulsed to see Jack and concludes as well that he is behind this.
• Jack tells Blair that Chuck needs to step down from the hotel.
• Blair says he’s not going to get what he wants.
• Q14: I’ve already had everything of Chuck’s worth having.–Jack
• HINT HINT!
• Chuck is watching from afar, looking uncomfy.
• Serena is ont he phone with Nate, who has stepped away from Jenny at a restaurant.
• She says she has a plan to show Jenny, rather than tell her, that Damian’s a bad guy.
• She’s bringing Damian over and when he starts to come on to her, Jenny and Nate will walk in.
• Nate is skeptical. Damian is already there.
• Dan makes some kind of joke about the vampire trend.
• Rufus says he’s noticed that Dan has been sleeping out a lot lately.
• Dan says he’s been falling a sleep studying on Vanessa’s couch.
• Rufus calls him a bad liar and asks who he’s seeing.
• He looks like he’s about to confess or lie some more (either one, lol) and then Vanessa shows up.
• Rufus called her, since she’s practically Jenny’s sister.
• Dan is obviously grossed out, because that would make him her brother.
• Rufus walks away and Vanessa tries to kiss him but Dan resists.
• Dan says they need to develop rules about this and she is very turned off.
• Damian says he thought about calling Serena several times to apologize for what happened at the state dinner.
• S says she thought, too, about calling. She and Nate are over, so…
• She leans into kiss him but he backs away!
• He says he’s dating Jenny and really likes her. He leaves.
• Nate’s phone rings. Jenny asks what’s going on, because it keeps ringing.
• Just then, Rufus appears in the window behind them. He does not look happy. Nate and Jenny look scared.
• Q15: Uht oh. Look’s like this virgin queen’s next accessory may be a chastity belt.–Gossip Girl
• 90210 promo
• Q18: You are going to dream of the days you were just grounded.–Rufus
• He sets up new, even stricter rules.
• Jenny says she just ditched class to be with her BF. No biggie.
• She says she’s not a child but Rufus says she’s acting like one.
• Rufus says she can’t be around a guy with drugs. Jenny reminds him that the drugs weren’t Damian’s and he jumped to conclusions.
• Q19: Dad, it’s no wonder your marriage is going down the toilet.–Jenny
• OUCH! At least she didn’t say “again.”
• Rufus spies his scarf.
• Elizabeth gives Chuck something to wear tonight. I can’t quite tell what it is. But it’s purple.
• Blair helped her pick it out.
• She says she recalls purple was his father’s favorite color, too.
• Chuck says that’s why he always wore it.
• She points out Bart used to play with people’s minds.
• Chuck says his Uncle Jack just came into town.
• Elizabeth says that sounds just like him. She asks if he’s going to be there tonight.
• Chuck says he’s not invited but he’ll likely slip in like a cockroach.
• She says she and Jack have history and she’s not ready to face him.
• He says he understands (does he?) so why don’t they hang out now instead.
• Blair is talking to S about Chuck and Elizabeth.
• Q17: Speaking of things we’ve shared…–Blair, as Nate calls Serena
• LOL!
• Blair answers, saying S can’t talk. They’re getting ready.
• Blair puts him on speaker phone.
• Nate says he’s worried about Jenny losing her virginity to a guy like that. A girl like her needs more.
• Serena obviously hears and is very insulted, concluding that Nate meant a girl like S didn’t deserve more because she was a slut.
• She hangs up on Nate, who didn’t even know he was on speaker phone, of course.
• Jenny’s watching Dirty Dancing now. It’s about time!
• Rufus comes in and Jenny says the movie is kind of good.
• Q18: Yeah. Baby’s dad is an even bigger jerk than you.–Jenny
• Rufus says he has to go to an event tonight and she’s coming, too, and he’ll be watching her.
• Protesters are picketing outside the hotel, calling for a boycott.
• Blair comes in, complaining about the protesters.
• Chuck says they have to stop by a DNA center or something. He wants to see if Elizabeth really is his mom.
• Q19: Are you kidding? A DNA sample? You’ve been watching too much CBS.–Blair
• Chuck says they should’ve thought of that a while ago.
• Q20: You know who she really is. You can see it in her eyes. In your eyes.–Blair
• Chuck points out the evidence: she just showed up, she knows curious things and doesn’t want to be with Jack, the only person still alive who actually met his mom.
• Elizabeth walks in. She heard everything.
• Q21: I should’ve known you would never let me in. You are your father’s son.–Elizabeth
• She leaves. Blair is crushed and appalled. She won’t be going to the party.
• Q22: Looks like the protesters outside aren’t the only who thinks Bass is an ass.–Gossip Girl
• Everyone is at the party event thingie.
• Lily says she didn’t expect to see Serena because S hasn’t returned any of her calls.
• Lily says someday Serena will understand why…
• Q23: You were doing my father when I went to see him?–Serena
• She walks off.
• Chuck thanks Lily for the turnout tonight.
• Lily asks where Blair is and the person he wanted her to meet.
• Chuck says he’s solo tonight and Lily says she is, too.
• He kisses her on the cheek. I kind of love their pseudo-mother/son relationship.
• Nate goes over to Serena.
• She’s still upset about what happened on the phone earlier, that Nate basically called her a slut.
• Nate lists the guys Serena hooked up with in high school.
• Serena says that despite whatever gossip he heard, she didn’t sleep with all of them.
• And that doesn’t explain why Nate is so concerned about Jenny’s first time.
• Q24: I woke up the morning after I lost my virginity to find that the person I lost it to, the person I loved, left town, never to be heard from again for a year. So, yeah, I had a good reason.–Nate
• Aw! I love that they are bringing it back!
• And I can buy that reason for him worrying about Jenny. I think.
• Rufus and Lily see Jack.
• Rufus tells Jack he has a lot of nerve coming there.
• Jack tries to explain his actions the last time they were together. He says he was on drugs or something. I don’t remember this.
• Rufus warns Jack not to make any trouble. Jack walks away.
• Lily notes to Rufus that he found the scarf.
• He asks to talk somewhere privately.
• Dan and Jenny are talking and all I can focus on is that Dan needs a haircut.
• Vanessa walks in slow-motion. LOL Dan is blown away by how good she looks.
• He goes over to kiss her but she resists. He reminds him of the rules.
• Q25: Oh, and just so you know, I’m not wearing any underwear.–Vanessa
• Nate spies Jenny and walks over.
• Q26: Go away, traitor.–Jenny
• Nate sits down. He apologizes for calling Rufus. OH, I get it now.
• Nate tells Jenny that she deserves someone who is going to treat her right.
• J reminds Nate that he’s taken. Awkward.
• Nate tells Jenny how Damian came onto Serena at the state party.
• Jenny says Nate is missing key info. Damian did it on purpose to get the drugs they needed.
• Nate is appalled that Damian is dealing but Jenny points out that Nate used to do drugs. Touche.
• Q27: Stop pretending that you care about me. In fact, the one who does just got here.–Jenny
• Jenny is smiling wide as she greets Damian.
• Nate runs after, saying Damian can’t leave with her.
• So Damian decks him!
• He takes Jenny’s hand and they head to the door. Jenny looks shocked, though.
• Q28: Looks like J is about to do some dirty dancing of her own.–Gossip Girl
• Dan helps Nate up.
• Serena and Vanessa run over.
• Nate explains that Jenny ran off with Damian, who is a drug dealer.
• Nate runs off to go find Jenny.
• Rufus is telling Lily that he did go to Holland’s apartment wanting to get his own kind of revenge but when it came down to it, he couldn’t do it.
• Q29: “‘Cause the truth is, Lily, I love you and I couldn’t do that to you.” “And I love you. I’ve always loved you.”–Rufus and Lily
• Aw!
• They’re about to kiss when Dan interrupts, saying Jenny has run off.
• The lawyer tells Chuck that things are bad. Christian conservative groups are calling for a boycott.
• He says Chuck needs to at least temporarily give up running the operations of the hotel to save PR face.
• Jack steps in and immediately volunteers.
• Q30: I promise you, Jack, that will never happen.–Chuck
• Goatee verdict: not liking it. (And that’s coming from a girl who does like facial hair.)
• Jack says then he’ll just buy the hotel when Chuck goes bankrupt.
• Chuck says this was all a master plan by Jack.
• Jack says he just wants to keep the hotel in the family and walks off.
• Nate goes into Damian’s hotel, asking for the room number.
• The receptionist won’t give it. She suggests calling.
• Nate tells the receptionist that he won’t answer because he’s up there with a 16-year-old girl.
• They head up to the room. But Jenny and Damian aren’t there!
• They are actually at Jenny’s!
• Chuck catches Blair up to speed.
• Blair offers to take over the hotel. Chuck says it’s not a good idea, PR-wise, to hand things over to his 19-year-old girlfriend.
• She suggests Lily. Chuck says they need to keep it out of Bass Industries.
• Chuck’s phone beeps. The DNA results are in. They have another choice. (For who can run the hotel.)
• Jenny and Damian are hooking up in bed. She stops and tells him that she’s a virgin.
• He says he figured and it’s not a big deal.
• She says it is. This means something to her.
• He says they can talk about it after and goes to kiss her.
• She sits up. She doesn’t want to do this.
• Damian is peeved, to say the least.
• Q31: I knew you were just a kid.–Damian
• He gets up and leaves. Jenny starts to cry.
• Almost everyone is at the loft.
• Lily gets off the phone, saying the police are looking for Jenny and Damian but it’s doubtful they’ll be found tonight.
• Jenny then walks in.
• She announces to all of them that she and Damian broke up.
• She asks if she’s still grounded and Rufus says yes.
• She says she’s tired and going to her room for the rest of the year.
• Serena follows.
• S asks J if she’s okay. J says yes.
• Serena concludes that Jenny didn’t go through it. Jenny lies and says she did.
• Q32: Honestly, Serena. I don’t know what you were so worried about. It was no big deal.–Jenny
• She cues up “(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life” on her iPod. Awww. That’s kind of tear-worthy.
• She asks S to leave.
• Elizabeth lets Chuck into her hotel room. She’s packing.
• Chuck says he should”ve trusted her.
• The implication is that the test came back and it was a match.
• Elizabeth says it’s her fault for abandoning him when he was a baby.
• Chuck says he needed the DNA test to ensure that she was the right person to take over the hotel for him as he takes a step back.
• She’s unsure.
• He says it’s not hard and he’ll instruct her.
• Lily is on the phone with CeCe.
• CeCe says Lily needs to check back in with Dr. Van Der Woodsen.
• Lily wants to find someone else but CeCe says he is the best choice.
• Lily says she’ll get on the next flight out.
• Rufus walks in.
• Lily says her mother called and she needs to go to her.
• Rufus understands and says he needs to spend time with Jenny anyway.
• But when she comes back, they’ll start over with a clean slate.
• She agrees. They hug. And she’s crying!
• She’s totally sick, folks! Not CeCe! Lily!
• Dan comes into Vanessa’s room.
• He says that normally he would tell everyone that he’s seeing an amazing girl and it’s serious and he’s happy but he’s nervous this time.
• Q33: “How happy you are?” ‘Oh, very happy. The kind of happy people write songs about.”–Vanessa and Dan
• Vanessa says he should tell then. They kiss.
• Nate and Serena are together.
• He apologizes for trying to help Jenny without letting Serena help him.
• She apologizes for leaving the morning after their first time.
• She wishes they can have a do-over.
• Q34: This time I know that you love me. And you know that I love you.–Serena
• Chuck comes home. Blair has champagne.
• He asks what they’re celebrating: the lawsuit, scandal or the fact that he signed over the hotel.
• Q35: We’re celebrating you. For opening you heart to your mother. And me. For being the woman who encouraged you to do it.–Blair
• Sweet but Blair still has to sneak her ego into it. Ugh/
• They kiss.
• Elizabeth answers her door. It’s Jack and the lawyer.
• Q36: “Do we have ourselves a hotel?” “We do.”–Jack and Elizabeth
• Fade to black.
• Yikes! So Elizabeth is his mom but is working with Jack to screw Chuck. Unless there will be some double-backstabbing going on.
• Preview: Nate says “Two words: role play,” cut to Vanessa dressed up for Dan like an old-fashioned housewife. The narrator says “There’s  high fashion, high-class call girls, and just plain high” as Agnes struts on a runway, the call girl from earlier this season is back (I forget her name), Blair says “Prostitutes are people, too,”  Jenny asks if someone put something in her drink, Agnes tells the guys holding a clearly drugged-Jenny to show her a good time, a bunch of rapid clips with the words “Let The Games Begin” intercut, Blair says, “If it’s a war Jack wants, then it’s a war he’ll get.”

Those are my thoughts. What’s yours?