TeenDramaWhore

In lieu of live-blogs Monday and Tuesday night, I offer you my old-school reaction post.

I posted One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl earlier in the week.  Now I’m completing the trifecta with 90210.

Read Last Week’s Live-Blog

EPISODE 2.04: THE PORN KING

• Previously on: Navid’s dad is, um, a porn king; Teddy found the hit-and-run victim; Teddy puts the moves on Adrianna, Dixon meets Sasha and lies about who he is; Liam wants Jen to tell Naomi the truth; Annie lies about what the truth is, Sasha and Dixon head to Napa
• Aw! Adrianna and Navid are so cute sharing a sundae!
• Whoops, I think Ade is just dreaming.  There’s Teddy taking of his shirt!  (Which we already know is a quite a nice sight!)
• Yep, she was dreaming.  Fell asleep at a Blaze meeting.
• Wow.  They’re working on the weekend!  I never did that in high school.
• Rumer Willis is back as Gia.
• Q1: “Your boyfriends rocks.”  “I know.”  “I rock?”  “Totally rocks.”–Gia, Adrianna and Navid
• Dixon and Sasha are naked! In bed!  That was FAST!  Guess he forgot he’s like 16!
• Aw, I love when people share headphones.  It’s like one milkshake and two straws!
• LOL Navid keeps calling Dixon because he wants his Lamborghini back.
• LMAO! Dixon used Navid’s credit card to pay for everything! Hotel, $400 couple’s massage, etc.
• That’s really taking advantage of Navid.  How the hell is Dixon going to pay him back?
• Q2: Sorry to be the bearer of a reality check, but have you lost your freaking mind?–Navid
• Q3: “Navid, my friend, I am living the dream.” “Well, Dixon, my friend, you are living a lie.”–Dixon and Navid
• Dixon says he’ll come clean to Sasha soon.
• This just occurred to me: isn’t this technically statutory rape?
• Wow, Navid covered to Dixon’s parents for him.  Risky.
• Q4: This is why I couldn’t be a spy. I don’t do well under pressure.  I get all hive-y and honest.–Navid
• Interesting to see them back at the Beverly Hills Beach Club.
• Whoops, Naomi just ran into Liam!
• Q5: Who?  Annie the skank?–Naomi asking him who he is waiting for
• Liam tells her that Annie lied about everything and Naomi looks soooo conflicted.
• Uht oh.  Here comes Jen, says some crap about trust and protection–says that she has that and does that with Liam, he doesn’t.
• The Blaze peeps know all about the hit-and-run: a homeless guy was hit on prom night, the driver hasn’t been found, and now his estate donated $100,000 to West Beverly.
• Good question by Silver: how does a homeless guy have $100,000?
• Silver seems to be in a much better mood than the last episode–and wasn’t that technically just the day before?
• Silver doesn’t like Gia’s enthusiasm. I like Rumer’s acting so far.
• Adrianna’s mom is back, and urging Ade to go back to acting.  She has to go to an audition or she will lose her agent.
• Q6: Who do you think you are? Julia Roberts?–Her mom (Adrianna doesn’t get the reference and I don’t either)
• Eek! It’s Monday and Dixon is still in Napa!
• Mark asks Annie to hang out, but it’s still not clear what happened between them last ep.
• Q7: “Hey Annie. I got a mousepad made with the image from you sexy.”  “Closest you’ll ever get to a girl.”–Nerdy kid and Annie
• Annie comes upon Silver interviewing Jasper, the nephew of the man she hit–who we now know was named Joe Harmon and went to West Bev years ago.
• Jasper says his uncle was mentally ill and then remembers who Silver is and what she did last year.
• Silver says the person who hit his uncle and left him is garbage…cut to Annie holding back tears.
• Jasper seems kind of disinterested.  I like his look, though.  Different from all the other characters.
• Yikes. Navid just ran into Harry and has to cover again about where Dixon is.
• And then Dixon walks up just in time!  Whew!  I would hate for Navid to get in trouble for Dixon’s idiotic actions.
• Harry still looks suspicious.  As he should be.
• Teddy invites Adrianna to lunch but awkwardly gave an excuse of why she can’t.
• Liam is eating with his mom and step-father (why isn’t he in school)? who are very love-dovey, even though the latter is still on Liam’s case.
• His mom points out someone they “know” in a magazine.  My guess is it’s Jen.  Liam looks very intrigued.
• LOL They have a school mag called The Wildcat Examiner.
• Dixon says he and Sasha both hate celeb news.  Ouch.
• Another Casablanca shoutout!
• LOL Dixon says he’s never had anyone before who knows/gets him like Sasha does.  He’s still in high school!  In all fairness, though, I remember how this felt.
• LOL Teddy suggests Dixon tell her the truth at the junior prom.
• Liam is waiting for Jen in the shadows outside her house.  Creepy.
• He tells her he knows about Olivier, the guy she married, and knows that she’s broke.  He insinuates that he’ll tell Naomi this if she doesn’t come clean.
• Jen says she’ll tell N the truth.  Why the hell do you believe her, Liam?!
• Adrianna is very conflicted about going back to acting.  I would be, too.
• Q8: “Honey, I am a green-eyed brunette who can cry on command.  Do you know how many girls there are just like me?”  Yeah. I do.  Zero.”–Adrianna and Navid
• Navid is worried Adrianna will get caught up again in the Hollywood lifestyle of sex and drugs.
• He points out that she’s supposed to be “No drama Adrianna.”
• Ade has a new reason to be conflicted: Teddy joins them, sandwiching her in between then.  She’s clearly uncomfortable at the sight of them bonding.
• Annie is creepily following Jasper!  And now she’s going to talk to him!  Bad idea..
• She says she’s sorry for his loss and he clearly doesn’t care.
• She fights back tears and leaves and he looks very intrigued.  I would be, too.  That’s some strange behavior!
• Silver wants a comment from Teddy on finding the body and gets (unnecessarily, IMO) upset when he says the guy was “just” a homeless man.
• Okay, I take it back.  teddy just took the homeless guy joke too far.  Kidding or not, it was rude.
• He still steadfastly refuses to be interviewed.  I wonder why.
• Adrianna went to the audition!
• Oh, look!  There’s Ryan!  We haven’t seen him in a while.
• Jen is somberly telling Naomi that they have to talk.  I can only imagine what she’s going to lie about this time.
• Jen reveals she’s married (though, really, I think she’s divorced from him) but he cheated on her so she left.  But she spent all her money first, so now she’s broke.
• Naomi is rightfully upset.  She’s been paying for everything!
• Jen says she’ll go back to Olivier, clearly playing the sympathy card.  And it’s working.
• Naomi says she’s not worried about her “stupid trust fund.”  I would be!  It’s definitely not stupid.
• See, this is what a concerned sister really looks like!
• Harry is hosting an on-campus memorial for Joe.  But why is Debbie there?
• Annie is clearly disturbed and obviously crying.  And seemingly the only one who is.  Jasper totally notices. Way to blend in, Annie.
• LOL Dixon is back in Navid’s car again with Sasha.
• Sasha admits she’s not used to this lifestyle.  Too bad Dixon isn’t admitting the same.
• LOL Sasha says high school was a long time ago and that HS kids are immature.  Dixon looks a little panicked.
• Uht oh! They just blew a tire!
• Q9: So I said to Warren Beatty, back off dude.  I’m hitting on this girl.”–Teddy (Beatty is a notorious flirt and playboy.)
• Silver is less than amused.
• Why are they all eating together anyway?  Hard to tell if this is at school or the Beverly Hills Beach Club.
• Teddy finally admits why he won’t do the interview: he actually CAN’T.  The police are still investigating the hit-and-run, and talking to the media (even the Blaze) could jeopardize things.
• Why didn’t he just say that in the first place?!
• Adrianna says she went to the audition to keep her options open but Navid says he’s disappointed.
• Q10: Well, believe it or not, I didn’t do blow in the bathroom.–Adrianna
• Navid says this affects him, too, and reminds her that he was by her side for everything last year (which all stemmed from her acting lifestyle).  Decent point!
• And she got the job!  Navid is less than thrilled.
• The tables have turned: now Jasper is creepily following Annie.
• Q11: I don’t know how to change the tire on that!  It’s like a freakin’ spaceship!”–Dixon on the phone with Navid
• ITA with Navid not helping.  This is Dixon’s mess.
• LOL Sasha found a ton of porn in the trunk.
• Titles include: Mr. Holland’s Phallus (a play off of Mr. Holland’s Opus) and Ten Things I’d Lick About You (a play off of Ten Things I Hate About You).
• Sasha calls him a pervert but he covers that he’s in the business–just not the perverted part.
• LOL Sasha says she feels like she doesn’t even know him.  That’s cause you don’t!
• Dixon lies AGAIN by saying he hasn’t lied about anything.  What a tangled web he’s weaving.
• Jasper thanks Annie for coming to the memorial and asks her to hang out.  Can’t tell if he’s being genuine or wants to dig and see what’s really going on with her.
• Jasper also plays the sympathy card and, again, it works.
• Silver notices something wrong with Navid.  I’d like to see this friendship get stronger.
• Jen tells Liam she didn’t tell Naomi the whole truth.
• Liam’s angry face = Ryan Atwood.
• I hope he was secretly recording that convo!
• Teddy finds Adrianna in a cabana (guess they are at the club!) and she opens up to him.  Wrong person, Ade!
• Adrianna’s talking about being conflicted over acting but she could easily be talking about being conflicted over Teddy.  Nicely done, 90210 writers.
• And now they’re kissing!
• And Silver sees!  I didn’t expect that.  Really want to see how this plays out now.
• Annie and Jasper are watching the stars from the hood of his car.  It’s nighttime now so a lot of time must’ve passed.  What have they been doing??
• Jasper says, in the grand scheme of things, his uncle’s death isn’t that big of a deal.  Can’t tell if Annie’s horrified or relieved.
• He totally knows something’s up with her, right?
• Uht oh! Sasha found where Dixon lives.
• The address of the Wilsons’ new house: 1714 Walden.
• It totally looks like the original Walsh house from the pilot!
• Now this scene with Sasha and her friend is totally uncessary.  Cut out the meaningless conversation and just speed up to…
• Dixon coming home (not in the Lambo) and hugging Debbie outside the house.  Sasha is clearly confused since a) she’s another woman and b) she’s white.
• Adrianna tells Navid that she turned down the part and is taking the year off from acting (even though it means losing her agent).
• Navid is thrilled.  And thrilled some more when Adrianna says she wants to have sex.  Ade, you’re an idiot!  This is not the time to be doing that considering where your lips and hands were a little while ago.  This is going to end badly.
• And this isn’t even romantic sex!  It’s rough!  I wanted to see the loving, romantic sex scene for them.  They deserved that.  Before tonight anyway.
• There’s Ryan again!  He’s kissing Jen’s shoulders.  And he looks kind of dirty.
• I called it!  Liam DID record Jen!
• Great ending.  Decent episode.
• Preview: Naomi is going green.  (They’re playing it as funny but it looks pretty stupid, actually.)