TeenDramaWhore

In lieu of a live-blog last night, I offer you my old-school reaction post.

Gossip Girl will be up later in the week.

Read Last Week’s Live-Blog

EPISODE 7.03:  HOLD MY HAND AS I AM LOWERED

• Previously on: Quinn telling Haley about her problems with David, Dan introducing Rachel to the audience as his wife, Clay telling Nathan what Renee claims–that she’s pregnant with Nathan’s baby. Renee confronts Nathan.
• Clubby music for an opening scene.
• Haley is holding the sonogram.  And the pictures of Nathan with Renee.
• So at least we know Nathan did in fact tell her.  But by the look on her face, she’s not happy and who can blame her?!
• Julian in his boxer-briefs is always a welcome sight.
• LOL He tries to get Brooke turned on like she did last episode, but she’s running out the door.
• Skills gets out of bed, and takes off his pants before walking into the bathroom.  He screams “I’m gonna kill you, Mouth” but it’s not clear why.
• Millie goes to Alex’s hotel..and she’s just getting home from the night before!
• LOL Alex says she keeps the shower on because she “likes the sound of the rain.”
• Millie is freaking out because Alex is supposed to be at a photo shoot.
• Drunk Alex is kind of funny.  But she’s probably not even drunk seeing as she just snapped out of her “sleep.”  Just stupid and obnoxious.
• Q1: Can I just say that I hate you?–Alex to Millie
• Skills is upset by whatever Mouth did but I’m still not sure what it was.  Really cold shower?  Really hot?
• Q2: You wanna strip down and parade your little flaccid business around the apartment, that’s cool. Go ahead with your naked ass.–Skills
• Q3: Hey yo, Jamie Scott.  I need your help.–Skills
• Mouth’s boss comes up to him, asking what’s going on with Nathan and insinuating that he should find out what’s going on since they’re friends.  Unethical journalism, people!
• Nathan tells Haley he didn’t sleep with Renee or do anything else.
• Haley points out that “you have your arm around her at a party with a beer and a smile.”  Valid point? Only sort of.
• Q4: I get it, Nathan. You got married in high school and you had a son at graduation and you didn’t have time to go out and party with your friends and drunken sluts with perfect teeth.
• Nathan insists they just took a picture together.
• Q5: But it looks bad, Nathan. And she’s smart enough to know that. And you should be, too.
• Haley gets the bigger picture here: it doesn’t matter what happened. It’s he said, she said, and the photo gives her a drop of credibility, which is all she needs.
• Q6: What they see is who you’ll be.–Dan
• Dan is back doing his television show, talking about truth. I want to see him doing something else.  And now with homeless men either.
• Woah! Guy in the audience shouts out…
• Q7: You’re a murderer! A murderer!  Tell them the truth, Dan, because that’s what you are. How do you sleep at night? And how can you look at yourself in the mirror? Murderer! Murderer!–Man in audience
• Dan looks stunned. Guess it’s been a while since anyone reminded him of that little fact?
• Rachel tells them to keep rolling, anyway.
• Photoshoot is at Clothes Over Bros…with Quinn!  Forgot she was a photographer.
• Forgot what it’s like to see Quinn happy.  We haven’t seem much of it.  But she’s seems happy to be doing this.
• And it’s nice to see Quinn interacting with someone that isn’t Haley or Jamie.
• Alex shows up in the most hilarious outfit and claims jet-lag even though she flew from New York.
• Why does Brooke care if she goes back on drugs?  It would be grounds to end their contract. Alex’s problem, not hers.
• Brooke’s treatment of Alex would also be grounds to end it, from Alex’s perspective.  This whole thing is just stupid.
• Q8: You might wanna start with a little lying slut remover.–Brooke to Alex, before she gets her makeup done.
• Fart jokes?  Seriously?  One Tree Hill, what is happening to you?
• LOL Jamie is geared up in a helmet with huge lacrosse sticks or something.
• Apparently Mouth put a lizard or something in the shower and that was the whole problem.  Skills is terrified.  Clever.
• Nice allusion to Puff the Magic Dragon.
• Why isn’t Jamie in school?  Guess it’s the weekend.
• Julian brought coffee to the girls at the shoot.  Very sweet.
• Quinn just called Julian and Brooke out on making out in her bed–but it wasn’t even her bed yet!
• Alex just called Julian “hot P.A. boy” and “yummy.”  We know where this is going.
• LOL Alex just told Brooke she’s too old for Julian.  How old is he anyway?
• Wow. Clay has a sweet car.  Don’t even know what kind it is but it looks cool.
• Renee will “go away” if Nate gives $200,000 to her.
• Of course, Nate is refusing but Clay explains that it’s extortion and she’s doing it for publicity.
• Clay suggests paying her to avoid the damage.
• Wow, Clay just said Nathan’s next contract should be for $18-20 million.
• But I have trouble taking Clay seriously enough.  He looks more like a young friend of Nathan’s just chatting about it, than an agent, someone in the position of authority.
• Nathan reiterates that she’s lying.
• Q9: So she’s lying. You know how it works, man. They print the accusation on the front page and the retraction on the back.-Clay (Not quite how it works but okay…)
• Clay makes a fair point: you’re playing a little for a lot, and it’s something he should at least consider.
• Clay just called Mouth “the press.”  Technically true, but weird.
• Mouth clearly looks uncomfortable and Clay looks worried.
• Nathan insists he just wants to talk to an old friend but asks Mouth if he’s here as a reporter or a friend.
• Mouth says he’s  here “as a friend, off-the-record.”  I believe him, but we know he waves under pressure.
• Nathan reveals all: girl threatening with paternity suit.  I wouldn’t have told him, and I would expect Mouth to understand why.
• Mouth says he won’t do anything with the info.  We’ll see if and for how long this lasts.
• Nathan tells him if it develops, to do do what he has to do.  Mouth, nicely but worriedly, says “I hope it doesn’t come to that.”
• Funny to see Quinn doing this photoshoot. Wonder how much she had to “learn” or already knew from being in so many shoots herself.
• Aw, Brulian does some test shots together.
• Q10: Big hands.  He probably has a really big thingie!–Alex
• OK, I could take this if she was 16.  But she’s not.  And I know that’s the point but I can’t stand it.
• Millie explains that Brooke and Julian are together.
• Q11: “I’m such a slut. Alright, bitches. ” Let’s do this.”  “I hate her.”–Alex and the make-up dude
• She does look really good in the shoot.  Can see why she’s actually an actress and model.  And have to assume she acts well and she’s not actually like this in real-life LOL
• Back to Dan on set, talking about the “disruption.”
• Dan admits it was the truth–he is a murderer–but says he won’t hide from it.
• Q12: I step into the harsh light of the truth.–Dan
• Dan says it leads to foregveness, happiness and love–citing Rachel, who comes on stage.
• Yes! A flashback to the night they met!
• Dan is drinking in a strip club, where Rachel is the dancer.  The banter is very much old-school Rachel and old-school Dan.
• Q13: Nice ass.–Dan to Rachel
• Q14: (After sex) “Not bad for a man with a bad heart.” “Well, stay the night and we’ll see if you can kill me.”–Rachel and Dan
• Rachel, in the flashback, says Dan being rich and dying “works” for her.  In the present, she says he had all the things she was looking for.  No shit.
• Doesn’t explain how they got to where they are now. I’m sure we’ll get there eventually.
• LOL Jamie tells Skills to move in with Miss Lauren
• Jamie wants to be paid in order to get the lizard. Smart kid.
• LOL Jamie says 10 bucks is enough for a mouse or a guinea pig, obviously not the lizard.
• Oh, it was an iguana. I thought it would be a baby lizard, like a gecko lol
• LOL Jamie names it Percy.
• Alex is sneaking pills. Shocker. Wonder what they are exactly.
• Quinn is getting calls from David but ignoring them.
• Quinn and Brooke just opened up to each other out of nowhere.  Do they even really know each other?!  A little soon to start making them close when it’s not clear they even met in years past.
• Haley is doing laundry at home.  Does she still not have a real job?  Guess not.
• Nathan apologizes again, and says there is a way to make it go away. Cut to Haley yelling at Clay about the payment suggestion.
• Haley says it’s not an option, and blames Clay for the parties and the women.
• Q15: I know you love him. But you love having him at your side more than anything else. You could’ve protected him from this.–Haley
• Haley points out they are both grown men.  Um, Haley, if Dan is any evidence, we know being a grown man doesn’t count for anything.
• Haley looks a little heavier this season.  Brooke, too.  It’s nice to see.
• How does Skills already have a tank set up for Percy?  That’s television for you…
• Skills says she doesn’t want pressure to move in with Lauren, even though he loves her.
• Q16: “Well, if you love her, why don’t you want to be with her?” “Dude, I brought you over here to help me catch this thing. Not to give me grief about my commitment issues.”–Jamie and Skills
• Jamie does look bigger this season.  Mark was right.  Our little boy is growing up!
• Clay apologizes to Haley.  Says he loves the whole family.  Cute but not quite believable yet.
• Haley insists they’re not paying her.  No idea what I would do.
• Clay says paying her would keep Jamie safe and Nate’s career safe.
• Flashbacks again! Yes!
• Q17: “What’s your story, anyway? Hang out in strip clubs waiting to die?” “Could be worse.” “Could be better.”–Rachel and Dan
• Dan has a copy of Lucas’ novel.  Sad? Sweet?
• Q18: “You do realize you’re the villain in this.” “The villain has power.”–Rachel and Dan
• Rachel is apparently on page 88 and Dan has it bookmarked.  Hmm. Wonder what it says.  Wish we could actually read the book.
• Dan has a bunch of self-help books, and Rachel calls people who read them lazy.
• Q19: I left my mark on the world. I just can’t seem to die.  But I do know one thing. If people saw my life, they’d feel a lot better about theirs.–Dan
• Rachel looks sympathetic but we know this leads to the book-TV show idea.
• Rachel asks him to leave with her, saying “I need you.”  She seems genuine but seeing where they are now, how can we believe that?
• I wonder if Nathan and co. know Dan has a TV show.  They must!  Unless all this is filming the pilot.  But they must know about the book!
• Alex is coming on to Julian.  Shocker.
• I like Alex/Jana’s tattoo on her upper inside arm.  It says Believe.
• Q20: I have something you might like…P.S., you’re totally cute.–Alex
• Why is Julian smiling?!  He better be smiling that she’s such a fool. Idiot!
• Haley visits the set, and starts to tear up when Brooke asks how she is.  Awww.  This is the close friendship I want to see!
• Haley is crying, telling Quinn and Brooke what is going on.  They reassure her but Alex chimes in, suggesting Nathan actually did it.
• LOL Brooke says they need a drink.
• Q21: Not you!  Millicent, come get her!–Brooke about Alex
• Mouth’s boss asks about Nathan again.  Mouth says there isn’t one.  Aww.
• They’re drinking at Tric.  Is the first Tric scene?
• Chase isn’t bartending LOL
• Quinn suggests doing the paternity test.
• Haley says she believes Nathan.
• Q22: I say you call her bluff and don’t pay the dumb bitch a dime.–Brooke
• Haley brings up the contract issues and Jamie issue.
• Millicent shows up but then spots Alex at the bar.  How did Brooke not notice?
• LOL Alex tells Millicent to drink the shots instead of her.
• LOL Millie says she’s buzzed after 2 in a row.  Pretty sure it doesn’t work that fast.
• Brooke says the photoshoot went well.
• Q23: “This one’s kind of good at doing her job, for being a James.”–Brooke (What’s that supposed to mean?  When wasn’t Haley good at her job?)
• Q24: Former James.  Possibly future James.–Quinn
• Quinn jokes about how she used to make Haley pose for her, but Haley’s clearly distracted.
• Really not feeling Haley’s hair this season.
• Quinn says she wants to stay and “drink about it” rather than talk about what’s going on in her head.  Not the wisest choice.
• Skills calls Mouth and asks for a truce.  Honestly? Or does he have revenge planned?
• Nathan and Haley watch Jamie in the pool.  I love seeing them begin a family.
• Nathan wonders how he’s going to explain it all to Jamie.
• Haley says he doesn’t necessarily have to.  He’s worked so hard to get where he is, so if he wants to just pay her off so it ends, she’ll be OK with that.  Nice of her to say, I suppose, but you know it will still away at her and resentment will build.
• Clay sits next to Alex at the bar and takes her shot.  And Alex kisses him!  Clay’s first kiss on teh show!
• Q25: “I miss that.”  “The kissing or the drinking.  “Yes!”–Alex and Clay
• Quinn comes and sits next to Clay.
• Q26: “You’re a piece of work.  My sister’s in tears, my brother-in-law’s unemployed and you’re sucking face with dumb girls at the bar.”  “Wow, your husband must be so happy right now.”–Quinn and Clay
• Understand why Quinn’s upset, and that it’s not just about this, but I really did like that banter, anyway.
• But Clay apologizes.
• Clay is kind of pale.
• Clay gets a call from Nate.  We don’t know what Nate says but Clay says he’ll take care of it.
• Quinn tells him he hopes he knows what’s he doing–and Clay says he hopes he does, too.
• Q27: I can be in your bed in 20 minutes.–Alex to Clay
• And then she licks his neck!
• Q28: “Really?  You’re that guy?” “I am tonight.”–Clay and Quinn
• Not very becoming of you, Clay.  Not at all.
• Assume Clay is going to do whatever Nate said, and not to screw Alex.  That can wait.
• Dan apologizes to Rachel for the guy in the crowd.  And Rachel admits she hired the guy!
• Rachel says it’s good that Dan fights back when people bring up his mistakes…and it makes for good TV!
• Dan looks like of stunned.
• Alex is now at Brulian’s place.
• Alex brought Julian a script.  I’m sure she has an ulterior motive.
• LOL Alex admitted she’s a little dumb.  Understatement of the year.
• Q29: “I’m good.” “I bet you are.”–Julian and Alex
• Quinn’s phone rings at Tric, and as she contemplates, there’s David behind her!
• Didn’t know we’d actually see him. Not bad-looking LOL
• LOL Skills is reading Xtreme Outdoor magazine and Nathan’s body spray ad is on the back
• Q30: Well, at least you’re wearing pants.–Mouth to Skills
• Skills says he thinks moving in with Lauren will lead to marriage.
• And admits he’s not sure he ever wants to get married, even though he loves her.
• Mouth tells Skills to stay as long as he wants, and goes to lay on his bed…and a snake slithers up next to him! LOL
• Julian is reading the script.  Where’s Brooke?
• Oh, there’s Brooke.  With Millie at the store, looking at the photos.
• Alex does NOT look healthy.  You can see her bones!
• Alex is sitting outside what looks to be Clay’s place.
• Clay is meeting Renee.  He passes her an envelope, saying it’s what they are willing to pay…and the envelope is empty!
• Q31: It’s empty because you’re a lying bitch and we’re not paying you a dime.  Go to hell.–Clay
• Kind of want to shout ‘Go Clay!’ but that was sooo unprofessional to say and can be used against him in the future.  She’s not going anywhere.  Though she does look pissed!
• Clay should be having an attorney do this, not himself.  You can an attorney and still keep it on the downlow.  But of course it won’t stay on the DL anymore, anyway.
• Nathan tells Haley it didn’t go well with Renee, and Haley says it’s gonna get worse.  Nathan says he has to talk to Jamie.
• Nate walks towards him, obviously with the intent to tell, much like the end of last week’s episode.  Lame.  I want to see the tough conversations!  They’re skipping over some of the best parts!  And Haley should be doing this with him.
• Fade to black.
• Did they ever address that this is a different house than last season?  Or are we supposed to think it’s the same one?  I guess it makes sense they have a bigger one now, with the millions Nate got from his first year in the NBA.
• Preview: Fashion show, Victoria is back and doesn’t trust Alex, Jamie sees Nathan on the cover of a tabloid and asks Haley what a love child is, Quinn says she wants a divorce and tells Clay to take her to his place.

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?